12 Signs of Low Self-Esteem in Ourselves and Others

The Major Addictions of a Person With Low Self-Esteem

The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence by Dr. Robert Anthony

1. Blaming and Complaining – “We blame others and complain to and about them because we refuse to accept the fact that we are responsible for everything that happens to us.”

2. Fault Finding- “We find fault in others because they do not accept or comply with our own set of values. We compensate for our feeling of inadequacy by trying to make ourselves right and make them wrong.”

3. Need for Attention and Approval- “They are unable to recognize and appreciate themselves as worthy, adequate individuals of importance.”

4. Lack of Close Friends- “Because they do not like themselves, they generally choose to be either “loners,” living lives apart from others, or manifest the opposite behavior pattern and become aggressive, overpowering, critical and demanding.

5. Aggressive Need to Win- “If we have an obsession with winning or being right all the time, we are suffering from a desperate need to prove ourselves to those around us.”

6. Overindulgence- “Feeling deprived and hurt, they seek mental and physical “opiates” to dull the ache. They medicate themselves with food, drugs, alcohol, or tobacco to get temporary sensual satisfaction.”

7. Depression- “We become totally discouraged with ourselves because we feel out of control, inadequate, and unworthy.”

8. Greed and Selfishness- “Persons who are greedy and selfish have an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. They are absorbed in their own needs and desires, which they must fulfill at any cost to compensate for their lack of self-worth.”

9. Indecision and Procrastination- “Low self-esteem is frequently accompanied by an abnormal fear of making mistakes.”

10. Putting up a False Front- “Those who put up a false front feel “less than” others around them. To counteract this, they often name-drop, boast or exhibit such nervous mannerisms as a loud voice or forced laughter, or use material possessions to impress others.”

11. Self-Pity- “A feeling of self-pity or the “poor me” syndrome results from our inability to take charge of our lives.”

12. Suicide- “This is the severest form of self-criticism. People who commit suicide are not trying to escape from the world; they are escaping from themselves- the self they have rejected and learned to despise.”



Be aware when any of these feelings come up in you.

Be aware when these feelings or actions when they come up in others so you can communicate the most effectively to them.

Quotes from: Dr. Robert Anthony, The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence (New York: The Penguin Group, 1979), pages 35-39.

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