Bondage or Liberty?

Recognizing and Breaking the Dependency Habit

The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence by Dr. Robert Anthony

A self-confident personality is not possible until we build a solid foundation of self-reliance.”

“The main deterrent to self-reliance is the mistaken certainty that others are smarter, wiser or more intelligent than we are. This causes us to look to others for our happiness and welfare. The person who is dependent in this sense must always reach out to something external. He wants people, circumstances, conditions or God to do for him what he should be doing for himself. This causes him to depend, manipulate, conform, compare and compete.”

A sure sign of dependency is when you habitually look up to others as superior. The moment you begin to compare yourself with anyone you are subjecting yourself to psychological slavery.”

“Advice is everywhere. Most of it free and not worth the price. You usually have a dozen or more “unpaid advisors” who are more than happy to give you their opinion. But since others are generally engrossed in their own problems and do not know what you really “should,” “ought,” or must do, you invariably get the wrong advice.”

NO ONE CAN EVER LET YOU DOWN IF YOU ARE NOT LEANING ON THEM. No one can hurt your feelings, make you unhappy, lonely, angry, or disappointed if you are not dependent on them for your welfare, inspiration, love or motivation.”

“The person who is self-reliant does not need to find a master to lean on. He is able to meet life’s challenges with confidence and power by looking at each situation in the light of reality. He sees things as they are, not as he would like them to be; and he refuses to let his life be dominated by resisting reality.”

ACTION STEP FOR TODAY:

“NO ONE CAN EVER LET YOU DOWN IF YOU ARE NOT LEANING ON THEM” is heavy for me. I find myself relying and leaning on my husband regularly. The first step in growing and becoming better at something is becoming aware. Is there someone you lean on and that often lets you down?

Quotes from: Dr. Robert Anthony, The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence (New York: The Penguin Group, 1979), pages 13-16.

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