The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence by Dr. Robert Anthony
“Whether you are aware of this or not, the way you listen has a greater impact on others than the way you talk. The world is crying out for good listeners. Nothing threatens another person's self-esteem more than indifference. But good listening extends beyond mere silence. Signs of irritation and boredom, sarcasm, thoughtless interruptions, disagreeing with what a person is saying, and not placing any significance on what is being said all play their parts in creating gaps in our communication.”
“For the most part, people do not communicate. They simply take turns talking! Many wouldn't listen at all if they didn't have to. And herein lies the problem. Few people truly want to listen or improve their listening ability.
This was proven to me a short time a go when I offered to teach two courses at a local community college. The first was on public speaking and the second on listening. Actually, I did this to prove a point. Within a few days, the speaking course was completely filled. As a matter a fact, I had to conduct two classes to accommodate the number of people that enrolled. As for the listening course, not one person enrolled! Everyone wanted to talk, but no one wanted to listen.
If you think about it, who are the people you hold in the highest esteem? They are those who listen to you. We are attracted to people who want to hear what we have to say. This is why so many psychiatrists and psychologists have busy practices. People want someone to listen to them, even if they have to pay a hundred dollars or more per hour for the privilege.”
ACTION STEP FOR TODAY:
In what area of your life can you listen better in?
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Quotes from: Dr. Robert Anthony, The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence (New York: The Penguin Group, 1979), pages 156-157.